When you look in the mirror, who do you see?
I’m not talking about the physical image you see in the mirror but the mental image you see. Self-esteem is the value you place on yourself. It is highly influenced by our self-image, which is the mental picture we have about ourselves. Until an individual can develop a solid mental image of who they are, their self-esteem continually shifts depending on what situation they find themselves in.
Our self-esteem is critical because it affects how we treat ourselves, allow others to treat us, and our behaviour patterns. People find it difficult to achieve life balance when their self-esteem is distorted. Our self-esteem affects our output in all areas of our lives, especially areas like self-care and self-development. Our self-esteem also affects our self-confidence and how successful we become as people.
I will be sharing four key strategies for improving your self-esteem as a woman.
In simple terms, what can you implement in your life so you can place value on yourself irrespective of your weaknesses and limitations? Wouldn’t you want to get to the point where you can acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses, and still love and value yourself knowing that God made you special and there is only one of you in this world.
“You are worth a lot because you were born into this world for a purpose. It doesn’t matter what’s going on around you. It doesn’t matter if you are fat or slim, rich or poor, jobless or working, married or unmarried, a mom or childless, own a home or rent or homeless. You are still worthy, and you must value yourself.”
Change your distorted self-perception & accept yourself.
Every woman is unique and has a unique set of skills, talents, abilities, and limitations, which I call the unique specs. The way you view your individual specs dramatically affects your self-esteem.
There’s women who are focused on only their strengths and abilities and feel they have no flaws or limitations may have a superiority complex. Such women usually feel they are better than others and think they have no disadvantages. These women tend to look down on others.
The second group of women are hyper-focused on their limitations and problems with no recognition or value for their abilities and strengths. Such women feel they are less than others and have low self-esteem/ inferiority complexes.
The third group of women are the ones who have learned to deal with their strengths and weaknesses in the right way. These women have a balanced view of themselves. They have learned to accept themselves the way they are, with their limitations and assets, weaknesses as well as strengths, shortcomings as well as abilities. They have come to realize that no one is perfect. They capitalize on their strengths, work to overcome the weaknesses they can overcome, and live with the notion that, even with their limitations, they are valuable.
You need to tell yourself that although things are not perfect with you or your situation, you are still valuable because you’re unique, God created you for a purpose, and your set of unique specs is for a reason you are yet to discover. This is one key strategy for improving your self-esteem.
Stop defining your self-esteem by external factors.
Another big mistake we make as women is defining our self-esteem by external things usually beyond our control. When stuff like money determine your self-esteem, job position, marital status, health status, weight change, level of education, academics, etc. what will happen if things change for you in these areas of your life?
The truth is, society trains us to value people by these standards. When we are not able to live up to the standards of society, we tend to look down on ourselves and feel we are not good enough. Many women are trapped in places that they shouldn’t be all in the bid to feel good about themselves. Some women think they need to wear certain clothes, or drive certain vehicles, or live in specific neighbourhoods, or be friends with certain people to be valuable.
Unfortunately, many women have all these things but still have low self-esteem. On the outside, they look all glammed up and perfect but deep within, they feel so worthless. That’s why I always say the value we place on who we are must come from within and not outside. You are worth a lot because you were born into this world for a purpose. It doesn’t matter what’s going on around you. It doesn’t matter if you are fat or slim, rich or poor, jobless or working, married or unmarried, a mom or childless, own a home or rent or homeless. You are still worthy, and you must value yourself.
You will improve your self-esteem when you stop defining your self-esteem by all these external things. These external things always change and are usually influenced by things beyond your control. You are who you are and worth what you are worth, with or without all these things. Just as these things cannot change your gender as a woman, your self-esteem does not change when things change externally. You are a valuable woman no matter what you see around you.
Avoid toxic people.
It would be best if you were careful who you hung out with and who speaks into your life. You need to surround yourself with people who like you for who you are and are ready to accept your limitations and challenges. The people close to you should love you for what is in you and not what physically have, such as your finances, social status, clothes, cars, etc. The right friends are the ones who can give you constructive criticisms without the motive of making you feel bad about yourself.
You need to avoid people who frequently talk about what is wrong with you and never acknowledge what is good about you. Such people are toxic and only pollute your image about yourself. They only focus on the negative about you and change your view of who you are from a balanced view to a negative outlook. Constant criticism from such people only goes a long way to affect your self-esteem negatively. If possible, stay away from these toxic people so you can improve your self-esteem.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
The fourth strategy is to stop comparing yourself to other people because you are unique in your own way. The biggest disservice you can do to yourself is to compare yourself to others. Attempting to be like someone else will only drown you in low self-esteem.
Like I said earlier, every single individual on earth has a unique set of strengths and limitations. Therefore, you will always find something someone has that you do not have. Someone’s strength may be your weakness, and your strength may be another person’s weakness. If every person on earth decides to compare themselves to the people around them, the world will be filled with dissatisfied people with low self-esteem. For this reason, stop comparing yourself to others and instead focus on your strengths and capitalize on them for success so you can improve your self-esteem.
In conclusion, I know self-esteem is a tough challenge that we women face, and it is a constant struggle for us. This blog has touched on what a lot of us have been secretly struggling with. My hope for you is that you will implement these four strategies so you can improve your self-esteem.